“When people are hurting, they don’t need advice or to be ‘fixed’. They need to feel seen and heard.
People - adults and children - only experience care and support through experiencing mattering. Caring for others, we need to bring our humanness to their humanness.”
- Dr Shelley Brunskill-Matson
I help people show up for others when life gets messy and hard
Welcome to the home of the mattering-reinforcing care approach.
Have you ever known someone was hurting, yet been unsure how to support them?
You genuinely cared and wanted to help, yet scared you might say or do the ‘wrong’ thing, you did nothing. Sound familiar?
I help people show up for others when life gets messy and hard. And, to do so with confidence and in a way that will be experienced as caring and supportive.
I believe that most people genuinely care and want to support others when they are struggling, yet they rarely know how. So they hesitate. Unsure what to say or do, they do nothing. A day or two then passes and they talk themselves out of doing anything, and quickly find a way to rationalise this decision. I call this Care Paralysis; a person’s internal struggle between the desire to help and the uncertainty about the right action to take, that results in inaction.
Unfortunately, Care Paralysis is the norm. And it’s only feeding the current mental health and loneliness epidemics.
When someone is hurting, they need connection. Not necessarily counselling, yet genuine, empathetic, real, human connection. They need to feel seen, heard and valued by those around them.
As a leader, colleague, teacher, health care or social support professional, parent or friend, those around you need you to be able to show up for them. I’m here to help you move from feeling awkward and anxious to supporting others with clarity of action and confidence. Avoid Care Paralysis and ensure those around you receive the care and support they need, when they need it.
Whether you’re a:
conference or event organiser looking for a keynote speaker your audience will thank you for booking,
leader or HR professional seeking to enhance workplace wellbeing, productivity and profit,
professional working in education, grief-support, health care or aged care, keen to explore new ways to show up for your students or clients, or
caring parent or friend concerned about someone close to you,
reach out. I’d love to hear from you.
Services
I am a researcher, author, speaker, coach and content creator.
I offer keynotes, masterclasses and coaching, tailored to your specific needs.
Click on the link that best describes you to find out more.
Mattering reinforcing-care is an approach to caring and supporting others that recognises the critical role of mattering.
People only experience behaviours intended to be caring and supportive, as such, when those behaviours reinforce a sense of mattering.
I developed this approach based on my research exploring the care and support experiences of children affected by suicide-loss. These findings have gone on to inform the development of programmes and the care provided, for adults and children globally, in a range of contexts.
What is mattering-reinforcing care?
From Invisibility to Mattering: rethinking care and support for grieving children
Recognised as a global authority on children’s postvention and grief support, I invite you to watch my TEDx talk. Here I share the findings of my PhD research that lead me to develop the approach, mattering-reinforcing care.
